My Crazy Boring Life

So, the Birthday was...

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 18:30:44 GMT

alright, nothing fun and nothing horrible. i got calls from my dad and my aunt barbra. and the kids wraped things up in paper and gave me presents:P at one point Alanna was throwing a fit and when she wouldent stop i asked her if she had a bad day and she started crying all over again, freaking out because i didnt get a cake :P i think she was more mad that she didnt get any ;)

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 06:44:53 GMT

Im usually a pritty easy going person, i dont usually stress out, my blood pressure stays pritty low. the concept of a panic attack if pritty foreign. Rign now though i just want to cry. My babysitter flaked out on me, im facing the real possibility of looking this apartment if i cant find a roomie. Im so happy wit that fact that im in school finally. wich makes it thats much worse that thises things that are now working out will signifigantly hinder my ability to keep going. and i CANT stop going. i just cant.

once upon a time i had friends and family. i had to move away from my best friend in the whole world. my parents are gone for one reason or another. my brother chris, my rock. is dead now. his birthday was yesterday. my relationship deterioated to the point where we couldent stand eachother. and i made the chioce to leave that situation even though it meant leaving the only stable, extended family situation ive ever had. jeffs family say they stiil love me. but there is a change and its to be expected. before i moved out, for about 2 or 3 years i was so depressed and i didnt even know it. part of it was the state of our relationship and part of it was not having my narcolepsy medication and fealing worthless. those things have been remidied and i feal so much better for it. up untill a few days ago anyway.

I dont regret my decision to say enough is enough. i just wish i had some support thru what has been the hardest time in my life. im not depressed like i was anymore. right now though im incredibly sad, lonely and scared. for a few months it seemd like everything was working out. now it seems like everything ive achived is balancing on the edge of a clif. and im terified.

Call for help ..

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 05:10:53 GMT

I would really appreciate if all of you guys that live in Portland could re-post this so your Portland friends can see. maybe someone can offer me what im looking for.

http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/sha/837491201.html

Back Home

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 07:11:17 GMT

Its soo nice to be back home

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:33:15 GMT

You Are the Innovator

You're the type of person who is always a step ahead of everyone else.

You thrive when you're experimenting with new designs, ideas, and attitudes.

You are a creative person with many talents. You have to have artistic outlets in your life.

You need to create - whether it's writing furiously or redecorating your home. If not, your life becomes chaotic.

You tire of doing the same thing every day. You change your job, friends, and personal style often.

You are at your best when you have a focus. If not, you develop a flaky artist's temperament.

What Role Do You Play?

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:47:26 GMT

Psent the night in a hotell in salem on thursday night. hannah had fun with that. tina got into salem on friday and picked us up. and we spent friday and saterday at Jakes house. it was intresting watching hannah interact with jake. she loved calling him dad and actually asked him if he wanted her back. jake, for his part was really good with her. i hope it can continue hannah needs a male figure in her life thats actually going to be a round. Jakes wife desi is so sweet and nice and i love her to peices. shes pregnant and has the cutest little belly.

the drive to woyoming was LONG but alright. the kids were good and so were the dogs and loki. its very beautifull here, in a high desert sort of way. ill post some pictures later

oh, and me madre is in jail AGAIN ...*sigh* all i know is that she has a theft charge and something about phone harassment. my aunt barbra says that she should be put in a psych ward. and i agree. but i doubt its going to happen.

later :)

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:39:14 GMT

You Are Sexually Powerful

Your attitude toward sex is healthy, safe, and sane.

You enjoy sex as much as (or possibly even more than) the average person.

You're open minded, intelligent, and adventurous when exploring your sexuality.

And while you never take things too far, you take them far enough!

Are You Sexually Powerful?

about a girl

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 01:17:20 GMT

About a Girl

Girls Only

by Hailey

001. What is Your Name?

Tara

002. How old are you?

25

003. What is the link to your website, blog, or myspace?

www.myspace.com/tizznara

004. Height:

5'5"

005. Where do you live?

portland

006. Do you wear a lot of makeup?

no

007. Piercings?

a few

Your Perfect Date:

008. Age:

older than me by atlease 5 years

009. His Body characteristics?

not that important but i tend to prefer tall and thin

010. Hair color:

darker rather than lighter

011. Where would you go?

anwhere conductive to conversation

012. Is he: outgoing or shy?

maybe a bit of both

013. Would you kiss on the first date?

ideally, yes

014. What about going farther than a kiss?

if the fealings are there

015. Does he wear boxers or breifs?

neither?

Which do you prefer?

016. Pizza or pasta?

pasta

017. Jeans or a dress?

no prefrence

018. Abercormbie and Fitch or Urban Outfitters?

yuk

019. Be Rich or Be Happy?

happy

020. Shower or a Bath?

bath

021. Gym or music?

music

022. Family or friends?

freinds (if you know my family, you understand:P )

023. Kiss or hug?

kiss and hug

024. Drugs or alcohol or none?

little bit of alcohol

Have you ever?

025. Failed a class?

yes

026. Ran away from home?

yes

027. Cursed at your parents?

yes

028. Taken a dare too far? what was the dare?

yes, streaking

029. Flashed someone?

yes

030. Made out?

duh

031. Had a sexual experience with the same sex? What was it?

yes

Your Favorite:

032. TV Show:

BSG

033. Clothes Store:

goodwill?

034. School subject:

anything artistic

035. Music Artist:

gah, too hard to choose one

036. Song:

same here

037. Food:

my spegetti

Other...

038. Body type (slim/medium/athletic/other)

bbw :P

039. bra size?

40 DD

040. Whats on your dresser?

computer moniter and books

041. Do you have any siblings? How old are they?

2 sisters and 2 brothers, dont know excatally how old my half sisters are, something 30 and 40, my older brother would have been 34 this sept. my little bro will be 23

042. What do you wear to bed?

nothing

043. How old were you when you first had Sex?

16

044. Do you beleive in ghosts?

yes

045. Do you have your own pc?

yes

Take This Survey | Create a Survey Tjshome.com

Learn something, become a "champion"

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:02:31 GMT

a link to a "slide show about alzimers and the brain, at the end you can sign up to be a "champion" to help raise awareness. pass it on.

http://www.alz.org/brain/overview.asp

I really am an idiot

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 11:59:46 GMT

I LOVE to swim, sometimes its like i really am an otter. except for a few diffrences. i dont have anything to keep water from going up my nose.

and i dont have fur, you know what fur is good for? ... it keeps you warm.

and it keeps you protected from the SUN.

OMG ! i have the worst sunburn ive EVER had in my life. to me, i guess that dosent sound like much because ive never really HAD a bad sunburn. ive always been one of those people who would burn but it wouldent hurt and the next day it was a tan.

i was in the pool yesterday for like 5 or 6 hours. i put sun block on the kids, and they only got a little pink.

i was thinking, i wont put any block on me.. i need to get a little bit of sun, after all its not even hot its just warm.

so last night i wanted to go to the hospital. its hurts SOOOO bad, and i fealt like i was gonna puke and i couldent stop shaking and shivering. i just never found someone to take me.

so now this morning i wake up thirsty (been drinking from a water bottle all night) and as i move my skin feals like dry parchment. ... nasty.

and guess what im developing ...

BLISTERS

these odd half moon shaped ones on each tit, along the burn line. and very odd wavey lines on my back.

so i got a spray bottle and cleaned it out and put some water and tea tree oil in it and sprayed myself down. feals a bit better. i hope that can keep me from getting an infection.

how im i to sleep? front , back and each arm/ shoulder are raw.

so far ive been doing it verry carefuly, not moving at all. im glad these couches are soft.

Oh, and shawn hasent come home yet.. im pritty sure anyway because his puppy isint in its kennel. this is weird. i hope he is ok. ...

im going to down some more water, spray some more goodness and try to go back to sleep.

night .... er, morning.

Pictures

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 22:22:37 GMT

Here is a few pictures of the inside of my new place ...

New beginings

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 20:10:45 GMT

So i have a place now :)

Im about a 15 min walk from the 82ave max station. the apartments are nice, if old and small. the roomie seems cool. and is rarely here. there is a pool, and i cant wait to go swimming. my rent is 375 a month.

i miss having the kidos around all the time. hannah seems to be loving the fact that she dosent have aidan and alanna bugging her all the time.

im so glad we lived next door to ron and judy for as long as we did. i think that is why aidan and alanna are handeling things so well, the are in an extreemly familiar enviroment and they allready had a bedroom there.

i think i will take some pictures later on. :)

Tue, 06 May 2008 02:51:23 GMT

So nobody has herd much from me the past few weeks, I've been staying in a womens shelter trying find a place of my own.

I've been to so many apointments, and I have another tomorrow. I was so dissapointed to learn that the HUD housing here is all full for the moment. im goint to get on the waiting list. and the woman at Community Action is looking into a few more avenues for me. if worse comes to worse there is a building with studios that I might be able to get into while I wait for a HUD apartment the only problem with that is the rent will be all of my income.

so that's what's up with me, im going to watch some BSG that I downloaded. awsom show.

sad

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 07:03:17 GMT

I think my neighbor might be dead there are 2 ambulances, a fire truck and 2 county police cars here right now. my neighbor mr.kyle is in one of the ambulances. they were doing chest compressions when they put him in. they don't seem in a hurry to leave and get him to the hospital..and one of the officers went to the house with a camera. im verry sad, kyle is a wonderfull person. :(

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 10:01:13 GMT

Oregon Health plan has this thing going on for the next few days where you can have your name added to a list. then you MIGHT be able to apply for standard benifits (over 18, not pregnant).

they havent accepted new applications since 2004. im so glad i decided to check up on wether or not they were accepting new people. i have my name on the list and now im keeping my fingers crossed that they choose my name in the drawing.

here is the link, incase you or someone you know needs to get on the list. its only open for a few more days.

http://www.oregon.gov/DHS/open/reservation-list.shtml

website ideas, screenshot

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 02:12:38 GMT

SO ive wanted something diffrent than whats on my site now for a while, its pritty basic. so ive been messing around with this today. tell me what you think.

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 20:12:23 GMT

Your Score: Multi-Faceted Soul

You scored -8 Extroversion, -2 Sensitivity, and 10 Openness!

In a way, you are a truly balanced person. You have a good sense of self, but you periods of worry and self doubt. You don't like to be alone a lot, but you don't like being constantly surrounded, either. You can be shy in some situations and bold in others. You can tell people how you feel, but you don't wear your heart on your sleeve. You aren't "TOO" anything: You aren't too shy, you aren't too aggressive, you aren't too extroverted, you aren't too introverted. However at any one time you can be any combination of these things.

You tend to adapt yourself to match the situations in which you find yourself. You may be quiet and sensitive with some people, or joking and loud with others. These are all facets of your personality. People tend to perceive you as they want to perceive you. They may even tend to idealize you a bit. Then, when you do something that doesn't fit their concept of who you are (like have an outburst of anger, or a fit of shyness, or make an insensitive joke)they can be shocked and surprised. Does anyone know the real you?

Your daemon would represent your multi-faceted and ever-changing personality, as well as people's tendency to idealize you. He or she would get angry when you did not, be calm and poised when you felt ruffled and anxious, and always be the voice of emotion and reason in your ear.

Suggested forms: Swan, Elephant, Koala, Panda, Chameleon, Wolf.

Link: The Golden Compass Daemon Test written by wolfcaroling on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Voice Post: Tara's kid is morbid!! ;P

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 20:29:42 GMT

R

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 01:55:42 GMT

ead sagcat

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 08:07:11 GMT

View Poll: Curious...

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 08:00:30 GMT

You Should Play the Guitar

You're very independent - both in spirit and in the way you learn.
You can teach yourself almost anything, even if it makes your fingers bleed.

You're not really the type to sit patiently through a music lesson - or do things by the book.
It's more your style to master the fundamentals and see where they take you.

Highly creative and a bit eclectic, you need a wide range of music to play.
You could emerge as a sensitive songwriter... or a manic rock star.

Your dominant personality characteristic: being rebellious

Your secondary personality characteristic: tenacity

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You Should Be With a Water Sign!

Your best match is a Cancer, Scorpio, or Pisces

Why? You crave intimacy and connection in your relationship

And while most guys can't open up enough for you, a Water Sign can

Not that you're whole relationship will be soul gazing

A Water Sign matches your goofy sense of humor - and desire to help others.

What Sign Guy Should You Date?

Birthday? what?

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 03:50:38 GMT

So it sucks, i think everyone forgot my birthday, aside from imediate family. im all bummed out and shit. up untill about an hour ago the highlight of my day was my nap, in wich i had a nice dream. juday and ron came over a little while ago to bring me a "cake" and sing me happy birthday. that helped alot especally since judy made me a fruit salad instead of a cake. being mindfull of how im trying to eat healthy. its little things like that that show you that the person really cares for you. .. i think why im still sad after judy coming over is that the people whome i consider to be my closest freinds havent said hi or anything. not even my bestfreind.

So im fealing particularly "emo" right now, sue me.

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 21:00:50 GMT

Trout from Salmon

The newest addition to the family...

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 05:51:10 GMT

heres the ad description

hi;
Due to the demands and requirements of life, i must sell my smooth running and good looking 1980 VW bus.
This is a 7 passenger air cooled 4 cylinder and 4 speed VW bus with a fold down rear seat, ability to haul 1000 pounds, and a sturdy side sliding door....seats are very good, glass excellent, no dents or rust to speak of on this vehicle; runs on 4 excellent all season 6 ply radial mud/snow tires, has a very good spare tire and all tire tools, everything on it works, comes with an 8 year warranty heavy duty battery less than a year old, recently replaced alternator, and NEW Oregon license plates with DEQ tags good til September of 2009.
The bus starts right up and runs smoothly....it was my commuter to and from Salem. It gets better mileage than the water cooled VW vans you see around. NO issues with water leaks, no water hoses, no water pumps or radiators... Oh, it also comes with wrap around curtains mounted on rails and a locking gas cap, ...and This smooth runner does not leak even in heavy rain and does not rattle going down the highway.
I made an attempt to sell this bus earlier but i had to go away for a time... so now i shall again offer this smooth running 1980 bus for your approval. I must sell it soon. Thanks for looking... please email or better yet ring me with any questions...until 9pm.
I can deliver in the Portland area to a sincere and confirmed buyer. $1450 or best offer.

we went, we saw, we drove, we love. :D

jeff is going to go to the bank in the morn and then go pay the guy and bring it home. i wish it was still camping season!

if your kid goes to public school, watch this

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 06:11:11 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfRUMmTs0ZA&mode=related&search=